Deadliest Warrior: The Bouzac Chronicles
by Zelda maniac 23
Summary: The winners of Deadliest Warriors go up against some of the deadliest warriors of Bouzacula.


This is Zelda maniac 23 here, and you might be surprised by this fact: I love Deadliest Warrior. I was quite bummed when they cancelled the show, so I have had to make do with reruns every now and again. I have read many fanfics with all the match ups that were not featured in the show, and some of the warriors used were from the show.

Now here it comes, one warrior that has been featured on the show, one of my own personal creation.

Disclaimer: I don't own Deadliest Warrior, Spike does, but you already knew that...

* * *

"Look at the matchup we have today," Richard 'Mack' Machowicz said, "Two warriors who were very skilled at killing their respective foes. The Aurelien, the Bouzaculan raider who fought the Brotherhood, and the Spartan, the Greek warrior who spent his entire day preparing for war."

"This looks like a promising matchup," said Dr. Armand Dorian, "Both these warriors trained daily for war. Both were raised in different environments. One was raised on extremely harsh steppes, the other on milder coastline. Both were extremely fit."

"For the first time on Deadliest Warrior, we'll be able to test armour and weapons made from adamantite, and vibranium," said Geoff Desmoulin, "This will be the first time we will see a warrior who could finally give the Spartan a run for his money."

The Aurelien, Bouzacula's Brotherhood killing raider who would eventually become the dominant force in Bouzacula.

Vs

The Spartan, the Greek battle tank who became famous through the battle of Thermopylae.

WHO

IS

DEADLIEST?!

To find out, we have assembled a team of world class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe. No rules, no safety, no mercy. It's a duel to the death, to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior!

"I am really excited about today's matchup," said Mack, "We have two warriors who were extremely well known for their love of war, one of them has already featured on this show."

"I agree wholeheartedly," said Dr. Dorian, "Not only were these warriors good at what they did, they were extremely fit. One constantly trained, and one was quite literally forged by the enviroment he lived."

"For the first time on Deadliest Warrior, we have admantite and vibranium weapons and armour to test out," said Geoff, "This can probably prove to be a very bloody match."

"Let's start with the tale of the table," said Dr. Dorian.

Spartan

Era: 480 BC

Weight: 165 lbs

Height: 5'8

Armour: Bronze helmet, greaves, and cuirass, plated leather

"The Spartans were well known for their love of war, as well as the battle of Thermopylae. These guys lived to fight," said Barry Jacobsen, the Spartan expert.

Aurelien

Era: 4099 BC

Weight: 195 lbs

Height: 6'6

Armour: Adamantite hockrisk helmet, Adamantite lamellar cuirass, adamantite lamellar greaves

"The Aureliens were originally thieves loyal only to the Bouzaculan crown. They soon turned into a nomadic people who loved raiding other lordships for the sake of keeping them from growing too powerful. When the First Bouzaculan Civil War began, they caused the Brotherhood much grief, especially at the battle of Carcasont, where 300 Aureliens came out alive against 1,000,000 Brotherhood legionnaires." said Jacob, the Aurelien weapons expert.

First up, the long range weapons of the Aureliens.

"We bring the Aurelien recurved bow. Made of wood and sinew, it fires arrows tipped with adamantite and vibranium arrow tips. The Brotherhood wore armour similar to the Spartans, so these arrows punched right through." said Jacob.

A gel torso was set up in the Sparten's armour. The expert has 5 arrows to shoot through the armour.

Geoff counted down, "in 3, 2, 1, fire!" Jacob nocked an arrow, and shot it through the bronze armour, hitting the center of the chest, earning a shout of amazement. He fired all the arrows but one, then fired that arrow straight between the eyes, puncturing the nose guard of the helmet. This caused a shout of exclamation from Mack, Dr. Dorian, and Geoff. Looking at the three scientists, Jacob said, "I think my point is proven." Dr. Dorian came over to check the injuries. He said, "By the look of the armour, it seems to have failed to protect the Spartan." Jacob then said, "Vibranium absorbs kinetic energy as it moves, and the adamantite, if made a certain way, can burst into pieces as it penetrates flesh and bone. Coming into contact with bronze amplifies this." As they took off the armour, they found the arrows had gone all the way through the gel torso, some of them had no tip left. Dr. Dorian said, "All the arrows have penetrated vital organs. There also is a lot of internal bleeding from the blunt force generated by the vibranium, and there is a few chunks of adamantite in vital areas." The most impressive shot was left for last, "This is an extremely well placed shot. This is going in between the eyes, right into the brain," said Dr. Dorian.

This isn't the only ranged weapon the Aureliens bring. "We didn't just had our bows," said Jacob, " we had a special cannon that fired a multitude of various sized vibranium bullets. It is called the pellet gun." He introduced the shotgun like weapon. Geoff asked, "How would you use this weapon?" Jacob said, " We would set this up on a stand in an area that would allow maximum coverage, usually on a hill. Sometimes we would have multiple in one area. The point was to shoot these shards of vibranium at large groups of enemy soldiers."

Several gel torsos were set up in Spartan armour. The expert has to shoot one volley at the group.

Geoff shouted, "In 3, 2, 1, rain hell!" Jacob lowered the smouldering match into the powder tray on the back of the gun, igniting the powder. After a second, it fired a spray of shrapnel into the ranks of Spartan lookalikes. Some exploded on contact with the vibranium, others were torn to bits. Everyone was in shock of the carnage. Mack was the first to speak, "I admit this is absulutely effective as a terror weapon, as anyone who survives the onslaught will be absulutely stricken with fear, as seeing this happen to anyone is intimidating. You are ripping many enemy soldiers to pieces, and anyone who sees this, even a Spartan, will be unsettled, especially since they have never experienced this." Dr. Dorian nodded in agreement, "That's right, and the carnage is clear from here. It's not even worthy of me putting on the gloves. Everything in front of the pellet gun is dead, or mortally wounded." Jacob said, "Since the bullets are pure vibranium, some of them have exploded on contact. Also, vibranium bullets have a tendency to reshape themselves as they travel through a body, causing a larger permanent cavity."

The Bouzaculan weaponry is impressive, but the Spartans have an answer, a throwing spear used for centuries.

"We use a javelin, a short spear designed for being thrown at a target," said Barry, "It is about four feet long, and about one and a half pounds."

The test: the expert has to throw the javelin at the adamantite lamellar armour the Aurelien wears, set on a gel torso to see if it does anything. There is a lode cell underneath the armour to see how much force is generated by the blow, if it doesn't penetrate.

"In 3, 2, 1, throw it!" Geoff shouted. Barry threw the javelin, but it failed to penetrate. Jacob said, "We have faced javelins before, it's clear they never even injured Aurelien soldiers, especially since we were always on the move, either on horseback or on foot. you'll never get close." Geoff even pointed out, "There wasn't even 2 psi on that hit. Somehow, the adamantite absorbed all the force."

"In my mind, it's clear who gets the edge. He's able to pick off his enemies with a cannon that fires shrapnel, and a bow that can fire very powerful arrows at long range, while the Spartan has to get close to throw the javelin, edge Aurelien," said Mack.

"I agree," said Dr. Dorian, "A lot of trauma from both weapons, all of which would make even the best surgeon in the world look like an inexperienced little kid, all because of the fact he would not know where to start. Edge Aurelien."

"I'm in agreement with you guys," said Geoff, "Weapons are useful only if they penetrate your enemy's armour, edge Aurelien."

The Aurelien gets the edge in long range.

Next up is mid range weapons.

"We have the Aurelien spear," said Jacob, introducing the wicked looking spear, "this is a combo between chainsaw, club, and spear. The entire spear point is a combo of adamantite and vibranium. It has a chainsaw-like spear point, allowing for more damage. Even if it doesn't penetrate, you get a lot of blunt force behind the blow, causing massive internal bleeding. It also has a tendency to turn bronze armour into the wearer's stomach." Geoff, who was eying the weapon nervously, piped up, "Okay, let's test that theory."

A gel torso was set up with the Spartan's armour. The expert has one strike on the cuirass and helmet each to prove his point.

"In 3, 2, 1, go!" Geoff shouted. Jacob swung the weapon, which caused the armour to fold into the gel torso's stomach. He did an overhand chop down on the helmet, causing a large dent. Blood flowed in torrents from both the stomach and the nose of the torso. Even Dr. Dorian is shocked by the carnage, "You have turned his armour into a living death trap. The blow to the stomach is penetrating all major organs in the area, and the kinetic energy from the blow has caused even more bleeding in the surrounding areas. The head trauma is apparent from his nose, but let's see what else there is," the helmet is removed, "there appears to be a depressed skull fracture, and the kinetic energy in the blow is enough to cause massive hemorrhaging in the brain."

The Aureliens have successfully drawn first blood this round, but the Spartans have their own mid range killer, the dory.

"It is about 8 feet long, 5.5 pounds, and very effective for thrusting into foes." said Barry while holding the weapon.

Another gel torso is set up, this time in the lamellar armour and Hockrist helmet of the Aurelien, both of which made from adamantite. The Spartan expert has the same test as the Aurelien expert.

"In 3, 2, 1, go!" Geoff shouted. Barry thrust the dory at the chest plate, but as soon as the dory connected, the tip shattered. The outcome was obvious, "Your weapon broke on contact with the armour. I'm a little worried about this outcome for you," said Mack to Barry. Geoff nodded in agreement, "There was not even enough force to break a rib. Somehow, the armour diffuses the force of the impact."

"That last test had me worried for the Spartan. The weapons that they have used so far have not been able to penetrate the Aurelien's armour. The test for the dory is particularly concerning, especially since the tip shattered on contact with the adamantite lamellar. If you have a broken weapon, it's not worth using. Edge, Aurelien." said Mack.

"I agree," said Geoff, " Somehow the armour diffuses the impact. The weapons the Aureliens use are able to generate enough to penetrate a 12 gauge bronze cuirass consistantly, something we have not seen with the Ninja. Edge, Aurelien."

"The wounds created by the Aureliens are a surgical nightmare. Edge, Aurelien." Said Dr, Dorian.

The edge for mid range goes to the Aurelien spear.

The Aureliens have the advantage so far, but the Spartans are confident they can chop them down to size with their close range killer.

"This is the Xiphos, a shortsword that is 20 inches long, " said Barry, "It widens out near the middle of the blade, and is generally used for thrusting, though it can be used to slash."

Jacob walked in carrying a sabre and a tomahawk. He said, "I doubt it can compare to the Scia, and my tomahawk. I also would like to see how it performs against my armour."

The test: several targets are set out. One is armoured to test if the weapons can pierce the opposing teams armour. Barry is up first, clad in Spartan armour.

"In 3, 2, 1, hack 'em up!" shouted Geoff. With a war cry, Barry plunged the Xiphos into the nearest target, then ran to the next. He continued hacking and stabbing the targets, but could not penetrate the armoured one. As soon as Barry finished, Jacob, clad in Aurelien Adamantite lamellar, cryed, "Zambakt!" and slashed the nearest target in half with his Scia. He continued in this pattern, even slashing through the Spartan's armour, following that with a stab. The last target he finished off in a gruesome way: he tore off his helmet, took out his tomahawk, and grabbed the top of the gel torso's head. He jammed the tomahawk into one side of the torso's neck, and dragged it across messily, all while the panelists cheered. Once he had dragged the tomahawk across the torso's neck, he chopped the head off, licked the bottom of the decapitated head, then cried, " Zakatai Aurelia!" Dr. Dorian moved towards the carnage, starting with the Spartan's kill zone, "All the blows, except for the one on the armoured torso, were kills," he moved onto the Aurelien's kill zone, "Now we're talking. All targets were cut in half, and the thrust on that sword is pretty good. You also penetrated the armour. The last guy is already dead by the time you take his head off, but I would definately stay well away from the executioner." Jacob pointed out, "This is our form of execution. To become a man in our culture, you must have at least done this once after you have created your tomahawk. It is also quite intimidating to watch your general die like this, then have his head thrown at your feet. The licking of whatever is left of the neck that is connected to the head is an insult, quite literally saying 'I will drink your blood if you cross me.'" Mack then said, "Intimidation is an X factor we can put in the Sim, and you have it right here in this little display."

"That was an interesting display, and that's why I am going with the Aurelien for the Scia and the Tomahawk," said Mack, "The Scia is a good 4 foot blade that can out range the Xiphos any day, and the tomahawk gives that awesome execution for whoever is left standing."

"I agree with Mack," said Dr. Dorian, "The trauma was greater with the Aurelien's weapons. Also, the Scia could penetrate the Spartan's armour with both a slash and stab. Edge, Aurelien."

"It's unanimous then," said Geoff.

The edge for close range goes to the Aurelien for the Scia and Tomahawk.

The Spartans still think they can win, despite the disadvantage, "Even if they can get through the rest of the armour, I doubt they can get through the Aspis," said Barry.

The Aspis has been seen before, and has proven it's might against the Ninja's Kusarigama and the Samurai's Kanabo, but can it prove itself against the Aurelien's armour and special weapon?

The test: a gel torso is set up in full Aurelien armour. There are pressure mats all over the gel torso. The expert can take as many strikes as he can until the armour is pierced.

"In 3, 2, 1, go!" signalled Geoff. Barry slammed the shield into the torso, with no effect to the armour. He continued, but failed every time to inflict any damage. Out of frustration and exhaustion, he let loose another strike, but it also failed completely.

The answers were clear to Geoff, Mack, and Dr. Dorian, the armour had protected the Aurelien doppleganger completely from the attacks.

Jacob walked in, saying, "That is one really big, useless piece of bronze. I have a little something that will allow me to throw that piece of garbage where it belongs."

Enter the Dishonoured Scythe, a scythe related to the pickaxe and Dolabra, with the same two purposes: mining, and killing.

"This weapon has two sides: a blade, and a hammer. Both turn armour to mush, as they are made with the same combination of metals as all the weapons shown before: Adamantite and Vibranium."

The test: Another gel torso is set up in Spartan armour, plus shield. The expert can take as many blows as he needs to eliminate the target.

"In 3, 2, 1, smash him!" shouted Geoff. In one blow, Jacob slammed the scythe into the shield, folding it inwards. He did the same with the cuirass, piercing the armour, and ripping the torso to shreds. He brought the scythe up over his head, and brought it down on the head, splitting both the helmet, and head in half.

With no need to check the injuries, as they were quite apparent, the verdict was called... in the Aurelien's favour.

"It is obvious who wins this one, the one who pierced the other's armour. Edge, Aurelien." Said Geoff.

The edge goes to the Aurelien for the Dishonoured Scythe.

with the testing complete, it is time to decide the X-Factors.

"For intimidation, this was heavily in the Aurelien's favour, with a 99 to the Spartan's 81. For Metallurgy, the Aurelien's have the advantage at 100 to the Spartan's 18. For training, it was close, but the Aurelien's had a 90 to the Spartan's 88. And finally, for Endurance, we rated the Aurelien at a 97 to the Spartan's 89." said Mack.

With the test results in, there is only one thing left to do: plug it all into the sim, and see who is the deadliest warrior.

5 Aurelien soldiers were dispatched in Greece to see if the land is worth conquering. They had scouted out the area, and had fought local warriors, who were rather unskilled. That was going to change very soon.

Aureliens: 5

5 Spartans had heard the rumours of strange warriors from the north who had beaten everyone they had fought. Rumour has it that they were immortal and wielded wands that shot fire. They wanted to see if these rumours were true.

Spartans: 5

The Spartans moved towards a hill that looked quite normal to them near their home territory. This was not the case, as the warriors they sought were on the top of the hill preparing their bows and cannon. The Aureliens fired their bows at the Spartans, and the one without a bow fired the cannon. The Spartans raised their shields, only to find the arrows had penetrated the bronze. When the cannon fired, the shrapnel tore through one Spartan, throwing him into another.

Aurelien: 5 Spartan: 4

The remaining Spartans threw their javelins at the Aureliens, hitting the one who was operating the cannon. One javelin hit him in the eye through the eye slit, killing him instantly.

Aurelien: 4 Spartan: 4

The Aureliens charged the Spartans, attacking relentlessly, separating them from each other. One had an Aurelien spear, slashing at one Spartan with it, injuring him. The Spartan responded with a thrust from his own spear. The Aurelien dodged, and ran that Spartan through. Before he died, however, the Spartan thrust his spear through the Aurelien's helmet in the only place he could, the eye slit.

Aurelien: 3 Spartan: 3

One Spartan had managed to get one Aurelien to retreat. However, the retreat was feigned, allowing the Aurelien to take out his bow, and shoot the Spartan.

Aurelien: 3 Spartan: 2

Another Spartan approached, catching the Aurelien unaware. He thrusted his spear at the Aurelien, but the Aurelien dodged. The Spartan managed to catch the Aurelien again, this time smashing him with his shield. This didn't do much, but it did create an opening for the Spartan, allowing him to thrust his spear through the eye slit of the Aurelien helmet.

Aurelien: 2 Spartan: 2

Another Aurelien approached this Spartan. He was armed with a Dishonoured scythe, and he took a swing at the Spartan. The Spartan attempted to block, but the scythe penetrated, allowing the Aurelien to pull the shield away from the Spartan. The Spartan thrust his spear at the Aurelien, but it shattered on contact with the Aurelien lamellar. The Aurelien took an overhand swing with his scythe, and put it deep in that Spartan's skull.

Aurelien: 2 Spartan: 1

In his victory, that Aurelien wasn't aware of the threat behind him. When he turned around, the last thing he saw was a short bronze blade being thrust through the eye slit of his helmet.

Aurelien: 1 Spartan: 1

The Spartan turned around when he heard the war cry of the last Aurelien. The Aurelien had his sabre like Scia out, and slashed at the Spartan. This blow was blocked, but it left a deep scratch and a dent in the Spartan's shield. The Aurelien slashed again, this time breaking the Spartan's shield completely. The Spartan stabbed at the Aurelien, but his xiphos could not penetrate the Aurelien's armour. The Aurelien chopped off the Spartan's right hand, and knocked the Spartan out.

A few minutes later, the Aurelien had dragged the Spartan to the Spartan's elder council. the Aurelien removed the Spartan's helmet, and took out his tomahawk as people began to gather. In front of all these people, including said council members, the Aurelien swung his tomahawk into the Spartan's neck. He dragged the tomahawk across the Spartan's neck, and then beheaded the Spartan in front of his people.

Aurelien: 1 Spartan: 0

In victory, the Aurelien brought the bloody end of the head across his tongue, and cried, "Zakatai Aurelia!"

Winner: Aurelien.

"This is for the reason of the dominance the Aurelien had in everything. It was obvious who would win."

The Aurelien threw the severed head of the Spartan towards the Spartan elder council, and walks towards them to discuss a peace treaty, as he knew enough Greek to do so. The council, impressed by the display, grant him a place in Sparten society.

Next time, the French Musketeers go up against the Matsuman Regulars in a battle of muskets, swords, and landmines.

That took a long time to write. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
